Nugget

Today, I had to say goodbye to the best friend, partner, traveling buddy, protector, and soul-sister I could ever imagine, my sweet Nugget.

Her birthdate is only a guess, as the shelter had no background information on her. They had estimated her age at 9 (they were SO wrong -- thank God!), and she turned out to be a very sick little girl. She spent her first two nights of freedom not at home with me, but at the emergency vet, fighting pneumonia. She kicked its ass.

From the moment I got her, we were tight. She came into my life when I was starting a new chapter in a new state. She instantly became my family and my world. My job was really close to home, so I was able to go home to take her for a walk every day at lunchtime. I looked forward to seeing her at lunch and at the end of every day like you wouldn't believe.

That was such a lovely and fun time in my life, solely because of Nugget. I felt like I could handle anything with her by my side.

Nugget taught me to be fierce in standing up for myself, and to be discriminating with my time and my energy. Loving her with abandon was scary at times, but I couldn't help it! It was the only way to love such a perfect, beautiful and brilliant little being. She gave me her whole heart, and I gave her mine.

I hate that I couldn't make her all better this time. I hate that she couldn't stay on Earth with me for the rest of my life. I hate having to try to figure out how to do every single thing without her now.

I hate that she's not here with me right now. I miss her every second, and it hurts.

But, as I told her today . . . she was so worth it; worth every tear and every gnawing pain in the pit of my stomach that I have felt since I knew our goodbye was coming, and will feel from now until the day I die. She was worth it, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I love you, baby girl. Thank you for loving me, protecting me, and choosing me as your person. You and me -- we're forever.