Amyrlin
Join me in celebrating the life and times of Amyrlin Dmitryevna, who exploded into a cloud of catnip and garlic at 15 1/2 when she realized she couldn't raise anymore hell on this plane of existence.
She spent the first 7 years of her life as a criminal, running from the law, but when the law got too close, she committed identify theft, resulting in bamboozling two schmucks who went to Best Friends and asked who was the oldest and who had been there the longest (who, at 10 years old at the time). She was both.
A mere month into her cushy new life, she received her first cancer diagnosis, which she promptly gave the middle finger to.
Her favorite hobbies included stealing chicken, running full tilt into walls, and tripping her 6' dad, which seemed to bring her a special joy. Her most prized treasure, until her dying day, was pizza.
During her reign, she oversaw three moves (one of them across the country), multiple job changes, and one masters degree, during which she graced us with cuddles and emotional support.
Ever the fighter, it took cancer, hyperthyroidism, CKD, high blood pressure, and stubbornly low potassium to take her out, and even in her weakened state, she went out glaring and annoyed at the inconvenience.
She was a dear friend, companion, and aristocrat who would never hesitate to headbutt her way into receiving just and rightly deserved scritches, who demanded forehead kisses from her father before he left for work in the morning, and who would paw and scratch at the bathroom door to make sure you hadn't forgotten about her while you were in there.
We will dearly miss her excitement and warmth when we walked through the front door and cuddles in the morning. While our hearts are broken, we are so glad to have helped give her a gentle transition.
She will be remembered by all who met her, both by government name, and the plethora of titles and monikers bestowed upon her, which include, but are not limited to: Lady Snarl, Scrounge, Stinky, The Pizza Bandit, Sweet Baby Rae, and Southern Utah's most Wanted.
Always give the seniors a chance. You may not get as much time with them, but the time you'll spend will be beyond memorable.
